Fuck.

Well now I have absolutely no one. But I don't really think I did anything wrong. I was honest with everyone. I tried to play nice, but that bitch didnt want to. So that's what happens when you cant grow the fuck up and get over shit. I need my sister to come back. We have been together our whole lives. Seperated by four inches of mere drywall since I was six. And she is so far away. I havent felt at home since she left. And Im trying to keep it together. Things are going great at my mom's house. Its like a switch was flipped and now she's back to the strong, independent woman that I always knew. But now that Im back at my dad's, its harder. He just hurt his neck and now he can barely move. Now, I do all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and laundry when he is fully capable of reaching for things and walking to the bathroom on his own. But now that he is hurt, i have become full time cook, maid, and nurse. On top of the 4.0 GPA he expects me to maintain (At the moment I have two B's. Fuck my life) and the play that im doing, and the club that i am the VP of, and the job that I need to keep. And the second job i need to find now that its the off season and i wont get any work for a while. And I need to find a way to pay for college and the apartment that i have in Santa Cruz. And my best friend and i arent on the best of terms. We have never fought before. ANd now we are. And another really good friend of mine is upset with me because I lectured him about driving drunk (My fuckin bad, dumb ass. I'll try to care less next time)...........
Wow. I feel better now. Not shaking anymore!
Well nevermind. Yet another support beam falls out from under me. The guy that Im in love with (and the same guy me and my best friend are fighting about) just told me that he doesnt wanna cause prblems with me and my friend, so hes ending it. My mind is gonna fuckin explode.
And the thing is, it has to be my fault. Its far less likely that all the people im having issues with all decided to lose their fucking minds on the same day. So it has to be me, right?
But I cant figure out what the fuck I am doing to make people act this way.
Im gonna go lie down and try to relax.
Deep breaths.
-Taylor